Things

Things
Healthy Food Ideas
Image by Steve Sparshott
Wendy tagged me ages ago, then Jennifer and Katy piled on while I was down. Here are some things:

1. My feet don’t smell. At all. But they’re pretty gnarly, in a tree-root way (not a ‘90s Californian mountain biking way). I think I like things this way round.

2. I’ve never met a Canadian I didn’t like.

3. Apologies to the large number of my Flickr friends who are vegxcore, but I like Offal. To eat, that is.

I don’t know why I capitalised offal, I don’t worship it. In Frankfurt I was served a plate of mashed spud, sauerkraut and a variety of mysterious meat products, all of which were delicious. I christened it the Slaughterhouse Five.

4. My middle name is Beldon, but I tell people it’s Bellend.

5. I don’t like chocolate at all, except white, which is barely chocolate at all, but I love it.

6. Although I’ve been unable to ride them since 2003, I still find bikes (motor- and push-) fascinating.

7. I can name most British bird species.

8. I have a healthy disregard for food expiry dates. I tend to assume they’re over-cautious so (a) the manufacturer is safe from litigation and (b) we buy more, sooner than necessary. OK, if there’s hairy blue mould on it, I’ll bin it, unless it’s meant to have hairy blue mould on it, like certain cheeses, bread products and meats. That houmous I ate last week was distinctly fizzy.

9. I don’t have a TV, in the same way that an alcoholic doesn’t have a drinks cabinet.

10. I like airports and motorway service stations. Granted, they’re inflated-prices-because-we’ve-got-the-monopoly holes, and the coffee’s crap, but you’re there because you’re going somewhere, right ?

11. Until recently (at the risk of sounding like a smug Radio 4 bellend), my favourite quote was from Samuel Johnson: "A cucumber should be well sliced, liberally sprinkled with salt, pepper and vinegar, and thrown away."

However, my friends Tim and Rachel were recently teaching their five-year-old daughter about being kind to animals. Establishing boundaries, she enquired "Would you be cross if I hit an owl with a pie ?", which knocks Samuel so-called Johnson into a cocked hat.

11. Space, Sparks, Brains, Stick, Holiday Steve and Metal Man are nicknames I’ve tolerated. I always liked the name Nash "National" Kato (from Urge Overkill), and I wanted an online name that sounded particularly British; Frazer Nash is a long-defunct car manufacturer.

12. I am running out of ideas.

13. (See 12)

14. Of the 123 stuffs that white people like, I only like 35, which makes me 28.46% white. Except…

15. As I am 15/16 of the way through the list, I’ll now reveal my incredibly prosaic ethnic makeup: I’m 15/16 English, and 1/16 Not English.

16. Any questions ?